On January 23rd, Steve and I will celebrate our 37th anniversary—what a long time! I thought it would be fun for us to reflect on our marriage and discuss how our ideals about marriage have evolved over the years.

To be honest, I’ve shared the questions I’d like to discuss with Steve, but he hasn’t shared his answers with me, so I have no idea what to expect.

If I were to summarize, most American Christians view marriage as a choice between two people who love each other. Many would choose to have a religious ceremony officiated by a priest or minister and obtain a marriage license from the government. For many Catholics, marriage is considered a sacrament, a concept that emerged in the 1500s. In contrast, many Protestants view it as a covenant, also developed in the 1500s—though there are slight differences in terminology and understanding. We have often heard statements like “Marriage is not about happiness; it’s about holiness,” attributed to Calvin in the 1500s.

We’ve also been taught that “marriage helps keep a man from sexual sin,” a notion stemming from St. Augustine in the 400s. In our Christian communities, marriage is often viewed as the ideal standard, and in some cases, it can become an idol, a perspective influenced by the Puritans in the 1600s. It’s interesting to note that these ideas did not exist in the early Church.

So, how have ideas around marriage evolved, and what on earth does it look like to be married to Steve Roese?